Its hard when someone comes up to you and say “I know how you feel“. But deep down inside, you don’t. Until you are about to marry the only person you love with all of your heart and losses him, that’s the only time you’ll know how I feel. This statement seems angry but its the truth. You can never explain, nor could I.. how hard it is to be in this situation. Moreso, fathom why God has taken him away from me when all I ever did was love him to the best of my ability.
He’s wondering who’s going to take his place. I say none. Yes, I’ll need love.. but my family will always be here for me. I’ll give all the love I have in my heart to those who need it and I shall not ask for more for myself.
He knows his life is short. He told me not to worry about him and that he’ll always love me. My face will always be full of shadows, and I do admit that my loneliness shall not move very far away from me, but I’ll do try to make it on my own.
Much as he would want to, (if I’m the one gone), I want to be with him all the time. But I’ll always look forward to that day that God with taketh me away. If God would perhaps allow that he’ll be back in my life, I hope that we’ll both see each other. He knows how to find me and there is only one thing that could win me back and only he knows it.
Its true, he’s gone. I’ll always look forward to the day he’ll walk through my door and smile and hug me. I want to go on loving him. He’ll forever live in my heart and my mind through all of time.
I know he didn’t want to leave so soon. But he is a hero for saving lives. In one way or another, he’s saved me, and God saved him too. I just have to wait til forever is done and we’ll be together again. Until then, I’ll keep his love and life within me. I may not have his torch fully lit, but I know how to make small lights amidst the dark days of my life.
I love you very much JP. No matter what they say. I know you know it. I heard it right from your own voice. I’ll always look forward to the day we’ll meet again. You’ll be the last. You were the best.
This site will be a dedication to my love for JP. In here, I will collect all memories, his works and our love and lifetime together.